* Placebo wonders what ipt stands for.
<vinas> international planet of tards?
<_Tenchi_> idiot propagating transmission
<SirNoir> they are dialed into a traditional POP
<SirNoir> using tcp/ip to get to aol, instead of the other way around
<pluto52> Internal Portalfor Twits
<Placebo> Sir, yeah but that still doesnt explain what ipt stands for :>
<SirNoir> oh sure, expect an answer to the question asked
%
* jo2y-home will host PHP pages in trade for porn.
<cris> dcc send jo2y-home jo2ysmom.jpg
<cris> oops :)
<Ranman2> I'll talk to the g/f about that
<jo2y-home> Ranman2: do you have a clothed picture of her?
<Ranman2> hmmm clothed picture would only get me about 2MB on your site
%
<original> i read up on classes and objects just now
<original> that some pretty kinky shit
<`Sauron> original is a true coder... only true coders can find classes kinky
          :)
<`Sauron> I can come up with some kinky stuff to do _in_ classes... :)
%
<Shabba-> arse error: parse error in 
          /home/frampton/public_html/testphp/pac_user.php3 on line 319
<walkah> hah hah "arse error"
<walkah> arse error == beer farts...
%
[In the middle of a discussion about cars]
*** craig_l (~none@sherwood-Q215.foothill.net) has joined channel #php
<craig_l> this channel for the php addon for webservers?
<SirNoir> usually craig
<_Tenchi_> $28,590  ?
<craig_l> cool..
<SirNoir> heh, don't think so tenchi :)
<Sixty4Bit> first you have to tell us your favorite car...
<`Sauron> craig: every once in a while we talk 'bout other stuff... (actually,
          it happens fairly often :)
<_Tenchi_> oh --> $50,445.
<_Tenchi_> quarter mile speed in excess of 122mph
<_Tenchi_> is that fast?
<SirNoir> it is for a 1/4 tenchi
<_phil_> Sauron: and then every ones in a while (actually it happens faily
         often) we all just sit and meditate and say nothing at all :-)
%
<grrr> whats the estemated release date for php4(zend) final ?
<`Sauron> _will_ there be a final release date for php4? :)
<grrr> you know what i mean ;-)
<`Sauron> ask him *points at Rasmus*
<`Sauron> ... or Zeev
<Rasmus> when it is ready
<gub> good answer... :)
<Markie> the prophet has spoken
<`Sauron> hehe
<Rasmus> A couple of months most likely
<Rasmus> give or take a couple
%
<D3d> everyone on PHp list is pissed at me now cause i told some guy to
      RTFM
<`Sauron> heh
<`Sauron> :-)
<`Sauron> I just thought that was funny
<zerodiv> D3d: we still love you...
<zerodiv> god forbid someone that reads the manual before asking questions...
          =)
%
* `Sauron doesn't feel like starting X today
<`Sauron> Or... it's already running... I don't feel like waiting for it to
          swap back in..
<bedig> what is X?
[lots of ridicule]
<bedig> i need to go! but b4 i do.. what is X?? seriously!!!! :)
<Nobbie> bedig:GUI for Linux
<`Sauron> bedig: a GUI for *nix
<Nobbie> well, more like under *nix
<bedig> GUI?
<InSaNiTy^> heheh
<Nobbie> graphical user interfcae
<`Sauron> Graphic User I terface
<geekoid> graphical user interface.
<Nobbie> bedig: like windows and stuff
*** `Sauron has changed the topic on channel #php to <bedig> what is X?
    [ridicule] | <bedig> i need to go! but b4 i do.. what is X?? seriously!
%
[Talking about the (lack of) open source software support]
<DevoX_> All I can do is sit and jerk off while I wait for an answer from the
         mailing list...
<rend> I dont even have time for tha tbullshit
<DevoX_> Yeeh00 lookit my sp3rt...
<|wizard|> DevoX; that is disgusting
%
*** original has changed the topic on channel #php to #php http://www.
    billparish.com/msftfraudfacts.html || php - pork humping putzes
%
<TurboRoot> i gotta go, wife is hungry
<TurboRoot> programs do not know the meaning of hunger...
<`Sauron> Neither do programmers
%
<Dana> he'll be like purl and everyone would like it..
<Dana> phbot, purl is your best friend and she is at #cgi!
<Dana> phbot, purl?
<phBot> hmmm... purl is my best friend and she is at #cgi!
<kc> Dana, I thought purl was a boy bot
<Dana> nope.. purl is a gurl!  =)
<origina|> url is a guy
<kc> I agree original :)
%
<drewsph> ok.. i have a php script in which i want to define two functions...
          if i put them at the top of the script, it makes the script ignore
          the query string... if i put them at the bottom, it makes the script
          have errors
<drewsph> any help/suggestions?
<drewsph> none?
<Rasmus> ignore the query string?
<Rasmus> you did something silly then
<Rasmus> the two have nothing to do with each other
<drewsph> i must have...
%
*** |wizard| has changed the topic on channel #php to can you draw? for $$$
    msg jo2y-work. || <Rasmus> you did something silly then
<|wizard|> i see that alot... =)
%
* Verdi is in ann arbor
<stop> Verdi: speakin gof Ann Arbor, who the hell was teh wize guy who left
       the 'H' off of Harbor?
<rend> when they printed up the local news paper, they didn't have an H...
<rend> it should have been Hann Harbor
%
<juggles> man. i HATE tables. who knows much about tables?
<juggles> especially nested tables.
<`Sauron> juggles: they can be round or square...
<`Sauron> and generally have 4 legs
<juggles> oh, you know what i'm talking about. :)
<`Sauron> sometimes just one big leg in the middle
<`Sauron> I do? :)
<juggles> tables in html? :)
<`Sauron> I thought we're talking about tables?
<`Sauron> Oh
<juggles> why does everyone do that? :)
<`Sauron> I see.
<`Sauron> :-)
%
<original`> everyone: phpdev.com/layout.jpg and tell me how you think it looks
            (reminder, it was made in MS paint so i kno wits shitty, its
            really preliminary)
<`Sauron> you're right about the shitty part :)
<loanstar> orginal: it needs more unf
<loanstar> err original
<original`> (loanstar): unf?
<original`> how should i unf it?
<meridian> we are the phps?
<`Sauron> yeah... unnnF
<loanstar> hehe
<loanstar> unnnnnnF
%
<meridian> im a happy little php as happy as can be
%
<original> and udp is like "here, take this packet" "umm...ok...oh
           shit, why are there 5000 packets commign in a second" "DIE!!"
<CaPS> TCP is like.... "Can I send?" -> "Sure!" -> "You sure bout
           that?" -> "Hell yeah" -> "Aight.. but eh.. now I got a packet..
           want it?" -> "Sure!" -> "You sure again?" -> "Yeah
<CaPS> "Hey I lost a packet" -> "Shut up.." -> "No really!" -> "You
       say what?" -> "I lost a packet!" -> "Oh.. My.. God..";
%
<SirNoir> what do you call someone that only speaks one language?
<ww> literate
<SirNoir> an american
<ww> *ouch*
<`Sauron> rofl
<ww> I'm american, and you're right - I only speak one language =(
<SirNoir> me too
<[farce]> i know spanglish and english
<ww> That makes me a sad panda
<ww> [farce]: cool
%
<`Sauron> I speak English, German and Norwegian fluently
<ww> I started to learn spanish, but my ability to do other langauages was
     impared by my lack of effort.
<`Sauron> Well, it's slowly becoming more like syrup - but It'd only take me a
          few hours to get back in the groove
<ww> `Sauron: I admire that, I wish I was bi
<ww> lingual
<[farce]> haha
<`Sauron> hehe
<ww> =)
<[farce]> 'i wish i was bi'
<[farce]> quotable
<ww> I try
<ww> Today has been a quotes day for me in my other channels
<ww> so I thought I'd bring that here
<ww> it's becaause it's friday
<[farce]> is it friday?
%
<rend> who all is alive right now?
<`Sauron> oweff
* rend raises his hand
* `Sauron raises his nad
<`Sauron> hand
<rend> LOL
<`Sauron> talk about freudian slip
%
* |wizard| does a research paper on the history and progression of #php
<|wizard|> in the beginning there was Rasmus
<|wizard|> and Rasmus created PHP
<|wizard|> and it was good
<`Sauron> :)
<DasFreak> wizard: :)
<Ranman> and Rasmus said "LET THERE BE PHP"
<Ranman> and there was
<|wizard|> haha
<Ranman> and it was good
<original> |wiz: he worked for 6 nights, and on the 7th, he rested
<|wizard|> and rasmus took from the rib of php and created fi. and there was a
           union between php/fi
<|wizard|> although i think i skipped a few steps
<Ranman> |wizard|: Its ok your Jewish
%
<Zeev> Microsoft bought Zend
<mayo> Zeev, no shit :)
<skreech> Zeev: Whats this?
<Yoda|PHP> where's you see that?
<Zeev> Yoda it hasn't been published yet
<Yoda|PHP> ah
<mayo> Zeev, really . no joking ?
<Zeev> no.  they realized PHP was one of the biggest threats to their DNA 2000
       technology, based on ASP
<Primer> Zeev has a twisted sense of humor
<Yoda|PHP> so there'll be no more PHP?
<Zeev> keeping PHP opensource was a part of the agreement so you should have
       no concerns...
* [Time] is coming back to life after a cardiac arrest
<Primer> Zeev: please tell me you're joking...?
<Zeev> primer no really, it shouldnt make too much of a difference to end
       users.  they just didnt want to stay out of the game
<Primer> Zeev: If you're making big $$$, more power to you...but man, this
         news is upseting me
<Zeev> Sat Apr  1 02:07:21 IST 2000
<TurboRoot> Zeev: rofl, so thats all the reason to document the API so we can
            make our own products ;>
* `Sauron giggles.
<`Sauron> Zeev rocks :)
<mayo> :)
<Primer> shit, does that mean I'll have to start learning ASP?!?!?
<TurboRoot> Zeev: you know, since the Zend cache would be easy to write with 6
            different commands ;>
<`Sauron> I'm gonna go home now
<Primer> FUCKER!
<`Sauron> rofl
<Primer> I just now got it
<TurboRoot> heh
<`Sauron> be nice primer
<Primer> damnit
*** `Sauron has changed the topic on channel #php to www.php.net / www.zend.
    com / www.quecom.php << chan rules / Primer was had. :)
<Primer> that was a good one though
<Primer> Zeev: You got me good :)
<Zeev> primer :)
%
<maznaz> a guy described my arse as perky the other night
*** `Sauron has changed the topic on channel #php to <maznaz> a guy described
     my arse as perky the other night
<maznaz> :P
<`Sauron> that one was too classic :)
<maznaz> jealousy is unbecoming :)
%
<yaragn> i have 8300 rounds of ip ammunition at my disposal
<`Sauron> yaragn: that could make 8300 less idiots on IRC... go for it :)
<Sixty4Bit> LOL...  that is if he doesn't miss!!
%
<TurboRoot> maznaz : we had sex last night, because _I_ wanted to, that was
            sooo cool, hadn't done that in years.
%
<Sixty4Bit> I am gonna go join mazzy in bed....
<Sixty4Bit> errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr oops
<Candlewic> ahhhhhH!
<Sixty4Bit> I am gonna go to bed like mazzy did... yeah that is what I meant
<`Sauron> uhhh
<`Sauron> suuure
%
<Zairra> hey.... an else if statement is exactly that right?
<TechTalk> yup
<Zairra> damn ... thanks
<RainMkr2> Zairra: what do you want it to be?
<Zairra> nothin, I am fine... I just have one line of code that shouldn't be
         executing in an else if statement
<RainMkr2> the Zairra IF:   IF (foo == bar) { woof } ELSE {bark} MAYBE {wag}
%
<Zeev> Scoop my eyeballs out with a spork, then cut my balls off, dip
       them in salt, and place them in said eyesockets.  That'd be better than
       coding PHP5.
%
<Shabba> when using vi, dudes, you gatta remember something very important.
<Shabba> vi has two modes.
<Shabba> the first mode beeps your terminal.
<Shabba> the second mode corrupts your file.
%
<quidquam> C:<enter>
<lerk> C:##########
<quidquam> (see colon, enter)
<Klaw> thats almost corney quidquam
<lerk> see colon, POUND PUND POUND POUND
%
<LiQUiD_X> isotope n : one of two or more atoms with the same atomic number
           but with different numbers of neutrons
<`Sauron> liquid: I know what an isotope is :)
<`Sauron> I'll give you bonus points for figuring out what an "isoDOPE" is
          though :)
<LiQUiD_X> isodope n : one of two or more dopes with the same brain power but
           with different sizes of nuts
%
<lerk> 12 is illegal even in kentucky
<lerk> but fortunately, 12 is only 12 months shy of legal in kentucky
<FetiChico> 13 she's legal?
<FetiChico> she's just starting to bleed and somebody is gonna dig right in?
<`Sauron> okay, that was gross, fetichico...
%
<Macca> dinner time..bbak in a few hours
<`Sauron> feh
<`Sauron> dinner
<`Sauron> Pfft.
<`Sauron> I remember back in the old days, when we got a handful of sand for
          dinner... IF we were lucky
<Shai-Tan> ohh, we used to dream of having sand..
<`Sauron> hehe
<Shai-Tan> ;)
<Twyst> we used to have to make our OWN sand for dinner - all we got were
        rocks - none of that pre-crushed sand.
<`Sauron> rofl
<Shai-Tan> lol
<Shai-Tan> ROCKS? well, we had it tough
<Shai-Tan> we were left on a cliff face, in a force 10 gale, in the middle of
           a freezing cold night with nothing but a spoon and the only thing
           to keep us warm was an old handkerchief to share among six of us
<Shai-Tan> If we were lucky
<`Sauron> SPOONS?
<`Sauron> YOU GOT SPOONS?
<Shai-Tan> lol
%
* Cris hugs is 2620
* `Sauron stuffs TNT in Cris' 2620
* Cris throws it at sauron
<Cris> we can do this looney tunes style if you want :)
* `Sauron giggles and pushes down on the cartoon-style fuse thing
* MANiAK` eats it
* Cris swallows the ticking time bomb of a router and hugs sauron
<`Sauron> *BLAM!*
* MANiAK` wonders what he just ate
* `Sauron thinks . o O ( Cris maybe? )
<Cris> Maniak: i've been wondering what i just ate for a while now, especially
       after that last crap
<`Sauron> You know... this makes for a really scary mental image
<MANiAK`> . o 0 ( i hope it wasnt chris )
<Cris> Hey sauron, look over there
<`Sauron> maniak with Cris' feet sticking out his mouth, all the while hugging
          me with this big square lump in his midsection
<`Sauron> and lots of loud ticking noises :)
<Cris> hahahaha
%
<buyaka> am i the only one with a pimple on their ass
<Shai-Tan> lol
* Shai-Tan checks his butt
<Shai-Tan> buyaka: none here
<Cris> I'm ass-pimpless
<`Sauron> I don't get ass pimples
<buyaka> you can recognize me by the pimple on my ass ...
*** Cris has changed the topic on channel #php to <buyaka> you can recognize
    me by the pimple on my ass ...
<buyaka> its these damn thermal underwear .. they make my ass sweat
<Cris> hmm
<Cris> maybe that is even better
<Cris> you continue to outdo yourself :)
<Shai-Tan> buyaka: you will need to scan your ass and submit it to us, then,
           each time you join the channel we will need to verify it
%
<buyaka> puncept how do i get my girl into anal sex
<buyaka> puncept i tried and she almost broke my dick off
<puncept> first of all ,talk about it.  psyche herinto believing she'll love
          it.
<buyaka> i can put my finger in there now
<puncept> "you'll be begging for it if only you knew how good i can make you
          feel.  mmm"
<buyaka> but she says it makes her want to shit
<Cris1> it makes her want to shit...
<Cris1> tell her to shit first
<puncept> and then you just willy nilly, slowly into her anus.
<puncept> takes a good 20 minutes to get ito a virgin hole i think.
<puncept> loads of lube, or saliva.
<puncept> then you just willy nilly into it.
<puncept> that's all i can say.
<Cris1> so she spits on your cock, you fandaggle it in, then she shits on your
        dick
<Cris1> and this takes approximately 20.5 minutes - 25 seconds to spit on the
        dick, 20 minutes to get it in, and 5 seconds for her to take a dump
%
*** Kruge has changed the topic on channel #php to <Harm> hey how can php make
    my page look better?? <Kruge> porn.
%
<puncept> maznaz:  you fucked me without knowing it.
<puncept> i cannot believe you.
<maznaz> holy moly
<puncept> and sauron, well sauron and i MADE PHP LOVE
<maznaz> was i good?
<puncept> no you sucked.
<maznaz> coz if i was and i missed it i'm well annoyed :)
%
<puncept> shit
<puncept> there's a half dead half alive rat on my stovetop.
<puncept> what do i do.
<`Sauron> Eat it.
<puncept> FUCK
<puncept> no sauron, it's gross.
<stupidnic> puncept: Get a bigger hammer
<niklas> cook it
<puncept> it's just LYING THERE
<stupidnic> Smash it with a pan before it crawls some place you can't get it..
<stupidnic> Nothing worse than a dead decaying animal in a place you can't get
            to.
<Salty``> Cut off the dead half and let it go outside
<Salty``> pick it up and toss it in your neighbors yard
<niklas> just toss it out the window
<puncept> i live in queens.
<`Sauron> chuck it in a plastic bag
%
<_Tenchi_> zircote and I went to this restaraunt in NYC when he was living up
           here... we ordered hamburgers and when they asked him how he would
           liked it cook he said, "Slit its throat and wipe its ass and throw
           it on some bread and i'll eat it."
%
<niklas> i hereby declare today to be POM
<ron_frown> sounds good
<HolyGoat> (oh boy..)
<`Sauron> LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
<HolyGoat> ergh, who do I blow to get ops? the madness sucks, heh
<HolyGoat> (i didn't say that out loud)
*** HolyGoat has been kicked off channel #PhP by `Sauron ( Definitely not me.
    Just cause. Lub you too. niklas started it. :))
*** HolyGoat (~holy@i0536.vwr.wanadoo.nl) has joined channel #php
<HolyGoat> hmm, i definately hate POM
%
<Cris> Hypper: do you know what BDE is?
* Cris says "BDE is great"
<Cris> The lord sayeth BDE is the borland database engine
<Cris> created in the time before ODBC
<Cris> when data access was difficult and consuming, and abstraction was a
       pipe dream of monkey wrenches
<Cris> it opened the doors to cross-database development in a day when nearly
       2 databases existed
<Cris> It broke down barriers, stopped traffic, even crashed servers
<Cris> it caused entire companies by the name of Wise to redesign their entire
       install builders with BDE in mind
<Hypper> Cris: seems like you have witnessed a revolution... that freaks me
         out..
<Cris> it added over 750k to virtually ever database powered app in recent
       memory
<Cris> it provided seemless access to btrieve, dbase, access, and over 1 other
       commonly used databases
<Cris> BDE has delivered us from death
%
<Kruge> I think there should be a seperate internet for ugly bitches
<Kruge> suuuure, if you wanna take amateur porn pics of yourself, you go
        right ahead.  But post them on the Ugly Bitch Web
%
<shadda> bleh I'm in KDE right now. How do I switch to flux?
<`Sauron> shadda: Tell me you're joking
<shadda> heh
<duckx0r> shadda, push ctrl-alt-backspace (which will log you out of your
          session) and then login with flux
<shadda> `Sauron: I think it's more likely you misunderstant me
<shadda> misunderstand*
*** Signoff: shadda (Quit: Lost terminal)
<`Sauron> he hit ctrl+alt+backspace :)